Comedians

There is something painful about watching another human being get up on a stage and embarrass themselves whole heartedly. Especially when nobody laughs. The audience cringing, the look of desperation on the comic's face.

Tuesday is the "new acts" night at The Laugh Garage in Sydney. I'm not sure what compelled us to come watch the onslaught of comedians destined for martyrdom. But there we were, drinking beer, watching 6 aspiring artists crash and burn on new material.

Picking up girls from the bar is like buying avocados, you never know how damaged they until you get home. 
 (c/o one of last nights comics ... But I think I've heard that joke before.)

And if you want a real laugh, you should see the menu prices. On Thursdays they have a deal to fill the seats. $20 for a pizza.

Since when is a $20 pizza a deal? What is this a joke? Sadly tonight isn't Thursday, I'm not even going to tell you what we paid for our pizza. OK, it was $25. Ouch. Sydney is an expensive city, and I didn't even adjust for the exchange rate.

Coronas while on Vacation in Australia.

Tomorrow's post will also be a little comical, at least, if you think outrageous real estate prices are funny.

Hopefully I should have some pics of SP and I surfing in a few days, that should also be worth a good laugh.

-E

The Opera House

I must be spoiled for architecture. For some reason I just didn't like the Sydney Opera House. For all intents and purposes, the Opera House is an architectural masterpiece, everyone loves it, it's a UNESCO world heritage building, and some photographers make it look like this:

C/o this photographer

The building is now 30 years old. It was actually designed almost 60 years ago, it just took a long time to become reality. It's currently under construction again, which is probably contributing to why it feels a little worn.

Photo taken from the ferry.

Primarily I think it's the cast cement construction that has turned me off. You can't tell from a distance, but it's made almost entirely from cement. It looks bit like one of Arthur Erickson's buildings. Rhythmic, symmetric, heavy and grey. I realize it was revolutionary at the time. Perhaps all those years I spent on SFU have taken their toll.

The clam shell roof, seen from underneath.

The sails (or clam shells) that are it's marquee feature are not white and airy, they are beige and look a little dirty. I think it was intended to look like some futuristic boat. Perhaps if you stretch your imagination it does look a little like a ferry.

Boat like?

As 2013 is its 30th anniversary, I expect it will be in top notch condition for whatever celebratory events come up. It certainly is a distinctive, iconic building, even if it is a little drab.

-E

Doctor Who Symphonic Spectacular

A three week trip to Sydney wouldn't be complete without a trip to the opera house, and it didn't take very long for us to decide what to see.

Eighty classical musicians and sixty singers performing the iconic score to the world's longest running sci-fi TV show. It was a slam dunk. Bonus features include live monsters and Alex Kingston (River Song) as MC. There were also two opera singers who's voices are really out of this world.

All dressed up for the Symphony.

So was it any good? Yes, it was amazing. The BBC pours a ton of money into the production of Doctor Who. From full featured CG to creative quirky story lines, every episode is a mini movie. The music for the show is also produced by the BBC NOW orchestra and a full chorus, so it's not surprising that orchestras perform it live for the fans.

Hello Sweety!

Spot the monsters.

The fans also did not disappoint. Though many people dressed up for a night at the symphony, a few took the theme to heart.

Dalek groupies.

Amy and the Doctor.

Two days of parties have taken their toll, tomorrow is all about groceries, laundry and maybe some time at the beach.

-E

Gotye and Bertie Blackman

Being back in the big city means being able to do big city things. Today we went for a night on the town and saw Gotye, live in concert.

For those who have know idea who I'm talking about, here is a YouTube video of his most popular song.

A long time star in Australia, he's recently become popular in Canada too. (It probably helps that a Canadian band did a really exceptionally clever cover of the song - played on one guitar).

Canadian band, Walk Off The Earth

Gotye (and Bertie Blackman) put on an incredible show. His music is all over the map. On his website he calls it "experimental pop". I was wondering how he was going to bring it all together on stage. At one point he had 14 musicians plus all their gear including 2 electric organs.

The organ song.

The organ song live.

Bertie Blackman, who opened for him, was also awesome. Soulful and kinda dark, but a beautiful voice and interesting style. She also can back later in the show, dressed as a cat, to cover Kimbra's vocals. Why a cat? I have know idea.

Bertie Blackman with Gotye 

(Singing somebody that I used to know)

Bertie Blackman, Byrds of Prey

Both of us are a little thrashed this morning. I'm not sure if it's the copious amount of surfing (we've been out 3 times now) or the concert, but we're looking a little rough today.

-E

Sydney Bridge

SP and I have both come down with a bit of a cold. That, and the grey weather in Sydney, meant that we were limited on activities today. We decided that we would walk around Sydney and take a look at this bridge everyone is so proud of.

A good pic of the bridge (from this site)

My pic of the bridge (what can I say, I have a cold.)

While walking over the bridge we had an in depth discussion of how high a bridge needs to be in order to ensure death if you were to leap from it. (Purely from a scientific point of view, though I'm sure this is a perfectly normal conversation for two throat lozenge toting vancouverites stuck in a grey day while on vacation down under.)

The view from the bridge

For interest sake, the world record for successful high diving (which means you not only lived but you managed to extract yourself from the water unaided) is 53m or 172 ft.

Sizeable railings, aka "suicide guards"

In contrast, the Sydney Harbour Bridge deck is 82 m tall. And for the Vancouverites in the audience, the Burrard Street Bridge is 28 m tall whereas the Lionsgate is 61 m tall.

The Burrard Street Bridge (c/o wikipedia)

If you jump from 5 meters, you hit the water at ~36 km/h. (This is strong enough to possibly break bones or give you a concussion. This is also the tallest height for public swimmimg diving boards in BC.) From 10 m it's ~ 50 km/h. 28 m = 84 km/h. 82 m = 144 km/h. That's a lot of kinetic energy to dissipate in the water.

A bench in the middle of the bridge, for contemplation, perhaps.

Though some people have survived terminal velocity (anything above 450m of free fall, depending) the reality is that jumping from the Burrard Street Bridge is somewhat likely to kill you, whereas jumping from the Sydney Harbour Bridge almost certainly will.

The view from the bridge of the harbour.

You can also "climb the bridge" as part of a guided walk.

You are clipped in, however, JIC.

I'm sure you all really wanted to know this.

-E

Introducing JetStarve

JetStar(ve) is the budget offshoot from Quantas airlines.  We've flown the cost conscience airline two memorable times on our journey down under.

The price is right, truth be told - these are cheap flights. Our 4.5 hr jaunt from Perth to Sydney touched down at $164 each. Good luck crossing Canada for that price.

But you must remember that you're flying with JetStarve, and everything but the tiny cramp inducing seat is a la carte. I guess Quantas needs to make a bit of profit off JetStarve somehow as they certainly are not making it on the ticket.

• Want to check a bag in? $70 at the gate. And your carry on is limited to 10kg.
• Want in flight entertainment? You can rent an iPad for $12.

But the real kicker is the food.

• Instant noodles in a cup, $5. (The same msg laden ones that got you through college.)
• A tiny bag of potato chips, $4. (It's "lunch" sized.)
• A kitkat, $3. 
• Would you like some water? It's $3.50 a bottle. 

What was that, even the water isn't free? Yes, on JetStarve you're not even offered complimentary water.

Consider this a public service. Less weight on board means less fuel - It's good for the environment! And if you wanted to lose a few pounds of holiday weight, no problem! JetStarve is here to help. You'll land dehydrated and it will have been so long since you last ate that the hunger pangs will have subsided to a dull ache (unlike the cramps in your legs.)

(Satire folks, satire.)

Truth be told, I'd rather just pay for what I want versus having a flight attendant wake me up to offer me a flavoured food puck of one grease variety or another. So I really don't mind skipping extras I don't need. And what did you expect? It's a food store 10,000 feet up in the air, flying at 1000 km/hr - it's impressive prices are only 10x what you'd pay on the ground.

I probably wouldn't be so hard on JetStarve except that our flights were only so-so. Creaky old refurbished planes (one had half the signs printed in German) that have started to show their age.

On our trip into Perth the roof panels across the isle from us were falling apart. They had to move 12 passengers to alternative seats as they were afraid that the panels would collapse completely and fall on them. (The crew then proceeded to half heartedly cello tape the panels together again.)

I'm sure the plane's critical maintenance is top notch, as the relavant authorities have regulations on that, but watching incidents like this one really makes you wonder.

Anyways, we're safely in Sydney now, satiated on our DIY in flight peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Take that JetStarve

Tomorrow we're on our way to Manly Beach.

-E